The best page in the universe

I was just reading What I would like to call...the best page in the universe

He's so right, he's me, but more hostile towards every single person that comes near... I LOVE IT! Here's the best Articles

Sports are utterly uselss in highschool, i've only been preaching this for years

Fat people shouldn't wear small clothing

Vegetarians suck, eat more meat

he's a fucking genius

Dodge this....fag

Well apparently there's a dodgeball tourney going down at the State Fair. Team Steak Buffet, will be there.

We have 4 members right now for our team and need 4 more. I think Dave will get 2 and i'll get 2 as we're the team captains as of now. If you're interested let me know though I kind of already have 2 picked out right now that i'll ask first. We're going to minot, and we're coming back champs, we need to double our ditch games and I need to start practicing throwing those balls all around...like jon's bitches, cuz he hates seeds.

I also lost in ditch for the first time ever, but I won the 2nd game. This tuesday I'll be picking up my new camcorder (God willing) right now i'm leaning towards this one.

Read that description, Read the description, fucking infrared night shot plus, for when we do ditch, HOW PIMP IS THAT!?


3 days till War of the Worlds.........

Wiggle...super pimp

Because Jon Wiggle hates seeds as much as I do i've returned his link to normal...for the time being.

and scary french fries....AND TERRIFYING BROCOLLI!

Came across this site surfing.

It was pretty good especially if you're from the ND area. Most of the stories are really corny but a few are actually pretty good.

I've heard of the moonies and Vergus trails before, surprised that there was nothing linked to the ND cults of the 70's and 80's. Oh well, this is a pretty pointless post but it's something for the locals that want to beef up on their knowledge of local folk lore.

There really isn't that much going on these days it seems, I'd like to comment on the recent ruling of the supreme court but i'd probably just punch my computer and break it in the frustration and stupidity of it all. Thank god we have checks and balances, i'm sure it will be overturned soon anyway.

Fucking Supreme Court

As if my heart has been crushed

I just deleted 19 gigs worth of porn, I'm moving on, or at least trying to tell myself that.

Either way it felt like cutting my own arm off,
-sigh-

I better go find something "Healthy and non-sinful" to fill my time now

Incredibly rude!

I dont' know if you've seen this on MSN or whatever but Tom Cruise is a real jerk it seems.

You can watch the entire incident here as well.

What a dick, seriously. I mean come on, Tom Cruise should be ashamed of himself, I used to think highly of him for being such a nice guy and now this? Wow, ass hole.

I hate gossip so why i'm even blogging about this when there's liberals running around going unchecked is beyond me. But still, I hate actors and how they think they're better than everyone, this just proves it.

The only thing that was "Incredibly rude" was charging a man with assault for the oldest trick in the book. If Cruise was the gentleman I thought he was he'd have the charges dropped. But he won't, dick.

Not in our names

but it was in mine...

some say I am making a sacrifice; but, how many people must stand idly by why evil rampages the world, while humanity is defiled, women raped, and children killed. I had that opportunity to fight for those who could not fight for themselves to stand up look evil square in the face and destroy it. This was no sacrifice but an honor and a priviledge and I thank God I could be here

Powerful, part of a young man's letter to michael Moore, read it here

It is indeed one of the most powerful letters i've ever read about the war. I just hate liberals, I hate them so much. "We support the troops." Kiss my ass. I'm just gonna insist that you read that letter irregardless of your thoughts on the war. The only people making any sacrafice in this war are the ones that support it. Thats something to think about. I'm done, i'm gonna be cussing if I kept going

Fucking ass holes

To the Domocrats

From the soldiers in Iraq.....

blow me

My thoughts? Amen

Zombie mayhem insues...

Unknown to me the sequel to the remake of Dawn of the Dead, "Land of the Dead," is coming out this week. I'll be there. I loved dawn of the dead and now this?! O its going to be awesome. I gotta go to Batman, this, then War of the worlds?! Holy shit I've got my work cut out for me. Sunday night i'm gonna go for Batman as it's the first night in eons that I have off. Expect my call sunday....

you know who you are

P.S.-The Pat Tillman jersey is a success

Bismarck Locals, read

I've pretty much made up my mind that i'm gonna go tubing at Lake Nelson in the coming weeks. I'm shooting for July 1st. If you're interested in coming all you have to do is put a couple bucks in the Boat and Truck Tank (Prolly just 10, if that). Fuck i'll even buy a pizza and mario party when we get back. If you're interested in coming leave a comment saying so. The boat can seat 5 but hold 6. I think 2 spots are already filled, but that's pending. Talk to me later or leave a comment, i'd recommend leaving a comment since I'm either working or sleeping these days.

I should prolly ask my dad if we can use his boat and truck but I prolly won't do that until June 30th, cuz that's just what I do. Those 2 mentioned above will probably bring wave runners so it's gonna be pimp, not Pirate Prom or Jon Wiggle pimp but still pimp. If they bring their jet ski's it could up the capacity to 8, plus they can also pull tubers.

I don't know if you've ever been to lake nelson but it's awesome. It's actually the water that cools a powerplant so the entire lake is luke warm. Then again you might grow a thrid testicle but that's just the sacrafice. But Jon could prolly use that so he doesn't crap out on his bitches right away though.

Odds are Jon won't be coming because he's so pissed over the pimp comments. But everyone is still welcome.

WEAR RED ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!! VVVVVVVV

Red staters unite

RED, thats it. That's all you have to do, if you support our troops our are a conservative in gerneral where RED every friday. H/T to JimK at Right Thoughts

I'm tottally into this, I'm gonna go to Hobby Lobby tomorrow and pick up my Red T-Shirt. As JimK suggested a Red Pat Tillman jersey would be bad ass, so i'm gonna make one, thanks to Hobby Lobby and magic marker.

If you've got a blog of your own spread the word.

Dream Vacations for most, kidnappings for some

I'm sure 99% of you have heard about the kidnapping in Aruba. I just thought i'd throw my take on it out there. I really feel pretty badly for those caught up in this. Not the parents, the state of Aruba. My reasons being is that Aruba is really a safe place to be. The smaller islands of the caribbean to the east and north really are very safe. The drug runners and pirates tend to hang out inbetween Jamacia and Haiti. So now their entire reputation is being smudged and hundreds could lose their jobs over the lack of tourisim because of people's fear. Over what? Ok, here's my prediction....

From the sounds of things she was doing some things she really shouldn't have been doing (Sounds like my class' own Honor roll members). Getting into a car with locals, as if that wasn't bad enough she didn't tell anyone. My bet is she was fucking these guys or something and something went horribly wrong. She was killed in the process, and these guys got rid of her body. Thus the ever changing story and cover ups by the primary suspects. We'll see if I can go 2-0 on this one. Either way this girl is suffering from her own actions, some where down the line she done fucked up, knowingly, putting her where she is now.

Or maybe i'll be completely and utterly wrong and i'll look like an uber dick.

Arrrrrrrr, that be frustration off the port bow

So i'm playing Pirates of the Caribbean. I've been playing a good half hour/ forty-five minutes. I'm hunting english fleets in the hopes of acquiring another battleship to add to my fleet. A few corvettes, a frigate now and then. But not the 70 gun boat im looking for. Then finally, the "Solitare" After a good 15 minute battle of pounding the hell out of her crew I send the ropes over and board. After fighting through SEVEN different decks and the entire captains quarters it's successful. Then the game crashes. I scream, loudly.

As fun as this game is the scratches on the game really ruin the entire experience. Fuck it, i'm taking it to box office video and having it refurbished.

The fucking english probably did it, assholes.

If I won the lotto.....

I was kind of inspired from AoM's Blog so I'm taking the liberty to write "What I would do" as well.

First thing's first is to get a financial and legal team in place so we can discuss my future spending habits so I don't end up bankrupt. Once all that is in place and decided I collect the money (Annual payment) and let the government have its first shot at my money (Fucking democrats). Then we buy my cars, each SS chevy model from the 2006 model year and a new vette. Of course I'm going to go out and buy some dirt cheap North Dakota land out in the west, so I have cool hills to jump my ATV off of! But on my land I'm only going to build a giant warehouse to store my toys and cars. The house isn't going to be built until next year, when the next payment comes. So until then, the road trip, the road trip to end all road trips. All of my friends and co-harts alike. I buy a bus, a really nice bus, and paint it like a 17th century spanish galleon. Because we're the fucking pirates of the US highway system. Then we do one lap around the country, then double back into Orlando, our destination. Because we're going to fucking pirates of the caribbean. Not for any reason outside the fact that we're driving a pirate bus. But then we hit up all of Orlando's kick ass parks and of course the Pirate dinner theatre And the mideveil one). Then track back to ND, where my 2nd payment awaits.

Now we build a kick ass house. It won't be to big because I like quaint. But the inside....its gonna be insane. On the ground and upper floors, It's going to be built to replicate a deserted caribbean island. Complete with live palm trees, and a waterfall somewhere. My bedroom of course is going to be soundproof because that damn waterfall will be soothing one night and annoying as all hell another. But the basement? built to look like a fucking greek temple. With stone floors that fake fire stuff for light. and beautiful and complicated pillars and mosaics depicting greek gods and their actions. And of course bitching ass statues. Of course all this fancy shit is just the hallways and main rooms. The doors all go into "Normal rooms" that will consist of a theatre, a LAN room for 32 computers (Battlefield 2 bitches!) and 4 xbox's, My bar complete with a blackjack/poker table and a pool table, then one room, EVERYTHING IS INFLATABLE! Like those mental houses are all padded, but this one is just that bouncy inflatable stuff. Bitching. Then im going to get an old school mustang and shave the roof and windshield flat and shave it perfectly flat, then throw a giant chunk of mahagony on top (After the car has been painted pretty and braced to handle the weight) And that's my fucking dinner table. BITCHING!

Of course running all of this is going to cost an arm and a leg from the power company, think again, Wind turbines and solar panels to power my house and heat my water. Completely self sufficient, to save money of course. Then a '69 Mach 1, a '68 fastback 302, '69 SS Camaro, '66 Stingray, '71 Monte SS, plus my '06 cars, and of course I have to pimp the shit out of my current monte carlo. Plus a nearby lake for all my jetskis and boats. Awesome.

Well that's about it, it's so detailed because i KNOW i'm going to win lol.

just 6 numbers.....

The boss

The past few days have been fairly hectic. Why? Because the North American Steak Buffet promoted me to Assistant Manager, with it comes my Raise, free food, family discount, improved Dental and health plan, and my favorite, a spiffy new name tag. No more buttons with a label maker haha.

I haven't even really been trained on anything to do with management but apparently I had to run the place today for an hour while the current manager had to deal with a minor crisis. It was pretty simple, all I did was walk around and crack the whip a few times. All in all a good day.

But Now I have to sleep because I have a productivity meeting to go to at 9am. Shit now I sound important, this calls for my trade mark line...

Eat it bitches

Just one glove

It's gonna be all over the blogosphere so I might as well just put in my $0.02.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8062350/?GT1=6657

I'm not surprised at all, why? Cuz I think I was the only one to actually go throught the prosectuions evidince and the defense's case and make an assumption, and that assumption was not guilty. Everyone was like oh he's so guilty, look at him!

When did we start convicting the accused because of how they looked? I don't call that justice, I call it racisim

Since this is one of my first predictions I ever go right I'm going to type this with every bit of joy possible....

I was fucking right....eat it....bitches

ooo that felt good

Dancing boots

I was goofing off looking up random Movie/Space/Pirate stuff, just to waste time, expand my knowledge, and make it official that i'm an incredible loser. But as I goofed off I came across what must be, the, most pimp thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I know, that must mean it's super pimp, after all I'm in on the most pimp van in the country and I know Jon Wiggle, super pimp.

But this was so pimp that even Jon wiggle came in a close 2nd. and here it is



Yup, that guy dressed as a fucking pirate for prom, P-i-m-p, He must have balls the size of fucking alaska to actually wear that.

Right thinking is thinking the right way now?

A while back a drew myself away from Right-Thinking-from-the-left-coast's webamster Lee. He has improved greatly now being much less hateful towards christians and treating them with respect again. It's amazing, if he keeps it up I might reestablish the "Link" and he can have his 2-3 hits back lol. Either way here are some gems I found from his site in just the past 2 minutes.

Lee found a blog that took nickelbacks 2 biggest hits and played them both at the same time, one in the left speakers, the other in the right speakers. The conclusion? It's the same song. I couldn't believe it until I heard it, the chorus is at the same time, the solos, the chant things, they even end at the same fucking time. Wow, can they really get away with this? You can hear it here.

Sean Penn is also in Iran right now bitching about how America Sucks. I know SOME of you have seen team america, the funniest movie of all time. As you'll recall Sean Penn says this in the movie.

“Last year, I went to Iraq. Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place. They had flowery meadows, and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.”

Well when Sean Penn saw the movie he bitched to matt stone and trey parker, Penn angrily shot back by inviting Parker and Stone to take a trip to Iraq with him

Stone and Parker's response?

“I went to the Grand Canyon once, but that doesn’t make me an expert."

Matt Stone and Trey Parker are now my favorite Writers/Producers/Directors/Actors of all time. These guys are the most conservative in hollywood. Team America and South Park reflect their right-leaning politics. Not only are their politics in line with my own, their funny as all fuck. Anyway you can read it all in detail at Lee's Post.

How to get an anuerism

A few months ago I read an opinion article in the paper that suggested something so stupid, I literally went into a minor spasm when I read it. It was unthinkable, unfathomable. How could someone suggest something this ridiculous? It was so ridiculous it's taken me months to recover in order to write this post, I must get this off of my chest.

I was on my break reading the paper like I tend to do. I'm not going to get into the details as I don't know them off hand. But it was an opinion article written by a dirty dirty liberal. Let me explain, The pope had just died and he believed that the pope had a lot of influence and this will affect much. This is true. But he went on to say that he has an influence on politics when he's alive as well. This is also true. His suggestion however was that because of his major influence on political leaders, that the whole world should have a say in who it is.

I'm going to repeat this....because it deserves repeating.

"The whole world should have a say in who the Pope is," As in, all the protestants, all the muslims, everyone.

WOW

That is something, so arrogant, so moonbatty, it just makes me go... ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH. So he doesn't believe that catholics should get to decide who the catholic leader is, but that all peoples should, and then of course catholics would be obligated to follow the new leader. Do you see the flaw in his thinking? Imagine what would happen if we let Europeans vote in our own elections!!!!! I seriously do not give a flying fuck about what the jews, Lutherans, muslims do, they're all private religions, let them do what they want. Catholics should be able to choose who they want for a leader, what beliefs to follow, and so on and so forth. If you don't like it, then fuck off, that's freedom bitch. Go join the lutheran camp and make macaroni jesus pictures and share your feelings, we don't do that under my god's church. No one is obligated to be a catholic, so why does everyone suggest reform? It's a formula that has worked for literally thousands of years. If you want women to be preists, want priests to be able to marry, or want to abort your child. Leave, fuck off, reform someone else's church assface. These think tanks in the news that claim catholics want reform don't represent me with their half ass polls, Fuck off. God dammit now im fucking pissed. Fucking assholes.

Can I get a hoo-rah from fellow catholics?

A surprising move

Jon Wiggle, frolfer, chevy truck owner, overall good guy. But recently he has been deleting my posts, why? I don't know, I'm a nice guy here, promoting free speech for all. But that's his right, I mentioned it earlier in the post below, but felt compelled to write an entire post on it

But a very surprising move he has opened a new blog, I was just joking when I made fun of him but I guess this just proves it. He has opened a new blog detailing his life with his BF. You can see it on my blogroll. Seriously, click on Jon Wiggle's blog, i'm not joking it's his.

I just can't read it w/o putting a feminie lisp to everything, its impossible.

In other news however Jon Wiggle will indeed stab me, there is no longer a doubt.

I hereby bequeath my posession as follows, my money (Bank Accounts, Graduation Money) to my family. My Xbox games are to be evenly divided out amongst the people on my "Friends" Blog roll, Army of Mom included (well Army of Dad really). Jon isn't though being he's the one that stabbed me. My car is to be sold to pay off debts and for funeral expenses, my Computer is to go to my girlfriend cuz her's sucks so bad. I need it scrubbed clean (Harddrive) to get rid of the porn though. My Tv is to go to the Van, my Xbox to my brother, it was supposed to go to jon but, he stabbed me. My Mini fridge goes to Judd because he needs it more than anyone, My raft goes to Dosch because he has it already. The computer games go to whoever calls dibs. And remember that Porn I talked about? Well scrub it AFTER you convert into a DVD library for Lyndon, he'd appreciate it more than anybody. Snowboard and snowboard related stuff also goes to whoever calls dibs. My share in the Van also goes to Lyndon. My gas fund (Little hidden Cash, WHO CAN FIND IT?!) Goes to Mike, because he's so poor. This is my will and testament, my signature can be found in my wallet confirming that these are my intentions. The signature contains the name of my fish to confirm that is the real one. It's also on the back of sheldon's Card.

You load 16 tons, what do you get?

A few days ago I was asked by my employer to clean out the ladies room before we opened. I was done with groceries so I was like sure why not. I go in there, water, everywhere. Even the guys aren't this messy. I look closer, there's fucking pubes floating it, lots. It was like a giant pube lake on the floor. I was to the point of throwing up. And believe me i've had my fair share of messy clean ups. So I start sweeping it up, fucking gross. Anyways I hit the broom up behind one of the toilets and pull it back, what do I get? A fucking used tampon, it was like a spanish galleon floating in the lake of pubes. FUCK THIS. I throw the broom in the corner and storm out, cursing like a drunken sailor and how i'm, and i quote "Burn this fucker down, I fucking quit." The owner didn't find it as funny as I did but we got someone else to do it because I have that kind of clout.

The Morale of the story? That's why men are gay, right there, just go into that same room and you'll go ".....oh that's why some men like to be the receivers."

The only thing more gay than cleaning that bathroom? Jon Wiggle because he deletes my posts on his Xanga site. That's not freedom of speech jon, that's communisim. Dirty Commie.

The force is no longer strong with me

Posting the quiz "What Revenge of the sith character are you?" fucked up my entire blog, some of you may have noticed. So I've taken the liberty to delete for the sake of this blog.

for those interested however I scored my as "Anakin Skywalker" officially making me AoM's daddy.....BECAUSE SHE WAS LUKE!!! sick pervs

Bloody toes, Jedi Masters, and Salty Dogs

Well this morning I finally took the liberty of popping some painkillers, 4 Motrin tablets. It didn't help the pain at all nor did I expect it to, so to hell with all of you. On top of that I almost fainted 10 minutes afterwards, all I remeber is feeling like i'm gonna throw up and then everything went white and my mom going "Oh my god his pupils are huge!!!" Fuck you motrin.

I also went to Star Wars III for the 2nd time today. Wow, it's even better the 2nd time. You really need to see a movie like that twice, the 2nd time I could truly appreciate the lightsaber duel between Anakin and Obi, the first time it was just dizzying, the 2nd time it was a clash between 2 different modes of thinking, between 2 different men.

In my Xbox right now is "Pirates of the Caribbean." Like most movie licensed games I honestly expected it to suck royally, eventually I discovered that it's just "Sea Dogs 2" with a disney logo in the corner. But that's ok because it's helplessly addicting. It sucks to because I think they stopped making the game, so if you want a copy I just bought the last one at Gamestop, so fuck you hahahaha.

Me and AoM strike a connection

Army of Mom just went through panniculectomy or something of that nature, but for simplicity i'll just now refer to it as "A fucked up Tummy Tuck." I just got out of the OR myself. The procedure? they took off my toe nail, the big one. O yea, one of my worst fears of my life is to have my nails "Ripped" off of my hand or foot, ooo I bet when you read that you just cringe. Well today it happened to me. I had a condition on my nail, i don't know the fancy name so i'll just now refer to it as "A fuckd up Toe Nail." In short the nail wasnt even attached to my toe anymore and everytime it touched it felt like a spike was being jabbed into my whole foot, it was also hindering the new nail growing underneath of it. t, so I went to the doctor to have it removed.

Everything is going swimmingly and I look up and I see the doctor hand the nurse the old infected dirty rotten toe nail. Good deal I think to myself, now a quick wipe, maybe a band-aid, i'll be to work at 5. But then he goes back to work, WTF, is all im thinking while the good doctor goes to town on my foot. "There we go, all done" he says handing another nail to the nurse.

MY NEW BEAUTIFUL TOE NAIL!!!!!!

He then explains to me that he felt removing the now old, then new toe nail would help me so I could start from scratch with a fresh one. He also pointed out that there's a ridge on my nail from the impact, and it will probably be with me for life. FUCK. What he didn't mention was the insane amount of blood i'd lose. The most i've ever lost in my life, no doubt.

That fucker is out to get me

I'm sitting there while the doc and nurse watch my toe bleed and discuss it. "Wow that just won't stop bleeding, you better put another packet of gauze on it." WHAT?! I look over at the operation table and what do I see?.......Bloodied up used gauze packets, dozens and dozens, everyone filled to the brim with my own red goo. I've watched open heart triple bypass surgeries, they didn't lose as much blood as I did. Then the doctor, the one that's out to get me, says "Yea the toes and fingers actually bleed worse than anything else so this really isn't a surprise, but for some reason yours isnt slowing down." Eventually it did, and they wrapped my toe in so much gauze that I couldnt even START to put my foot in my shoe. Of course its already bleed through all of that.

So now I sit here 6 hours later. with my foot up waiting, waiting for the pain to just, slow, which it isn't. I've never taken pain killers in my life and i'm not about to start, but this pain I have right now is unimaginable. It feels like someone is trying to rip off my toe nail while they crush my toe in a vice grip. Sometimes out of no where i'll just start kicking my other leg and start screaming. Oh well, as right as he'll turn out to be for removing the 2nd nail I still hate him for now.

On the bright side if this was canada I would have ended up doing it myself with pliers because I of the sub par service and the fact that I wouldn't have been able to get in until July.....2007.